Inside I am doubled over with laughter

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
eruvadhril

Anonymous asked:

Hey if you're not physically disabled and just ND, please don't say "cr*ppling," or any variations thereon, since it's ableist toward physically disabled people. "Disabling," and "incapacitating," are two better words to use instead.

theunitofcaring answered:

(It took me a while to figure it out; anon was bothered by this post.)

Okay, sure, I’ll try to do that. That said, I want to encourage people engaged in anti-ableism efforts that take the form of asking people not to use certain words to put their energies elsewhere. Firstly, I think they make the disability advocacy community inaccessible to a lot of people, since having to relearn which words are “allowed” is overwhelming and particularly difficult for people who have limited access to words in the first place.

Secondly, every time I’ve seen this implemented it…hasn’t made anyone less ableist? People who scrupulously remove “crazy” from their vocabulary in favor of “irrational” still treat the people they’re talking about like unpersons. Often the recommended replacement words are just as good at suggesting “less valuable person” as the words they replaced. I think there’s some value in asking “does our use of words surrounding disability to mean ‘bad thing’ come from a place of treating disabled people like tragedies?” and often it does, but that doesn’t mean that challenging that mindset is as easy as changing out the words. 

Thirdly, I think it emphasizes the wrong concerns. I saw a newspaper headline the other day saying “the president’s plan will be a crippling blow to the economy” and one about the “crippling burden of student debt”. I’d think that the fact the president’s plan includes making it harder to get SSI, or the fact disabled students are way less likely to graduate and likelier to end up in debt, is a much more urgent problem than the turn of phrase used in the headline. 

Lastly, it seems like the anti-words advocacy often pretends at a false consensus in disability activism. There are physically disabled people who are bothered by that newspaper headline and those who are not. There are mentally ill people who are bothered by use of crazy and some who couldn’t care less. But no one ever says “hey, that word bothers me personally because people have used it to be mean to me”, they say “it’s ableist towards physically disabled people,” as if all physically disabled people agree on this (or as if the ones who disagree are just obviously confused poor souls and don’t merit a mention). “There are physically disabled people who dislike the phrase ‘crippling anxiety’ and there are physically disabled people who don’t care and there are physically disabled people who have, themselves, described their anxiety as crippling” is much more accurate, but less compelling.

cacodaemonia

Not to mention how constantly making previously common words or terms into ‘bad’ ones discriminates against older members of all kinds of communities, from queer people to disabled folks. So they suddenly become the enemies of younger community members over the use of words rather than behavior.

But yeah, treating any group like a monolith is a bad idea.

beatrice-otter

I’m 40 years old. This is relevant because in my lifetime, I have seen multiple renaming/rebranding efforts to find words that are not as hurtful to disabled people.

And each and every one of them failed. Within a very short time of going mainstream, the words that were supposedly neutral and less pejorative became, in practice, every bit as nasty and horrible as the word they replaced.

This is called the euphemism treadmill.

Why? Simple.

If someone thinks a group of people are scum who shouldn’t exist, and you tell that person “please don’t use [old word] for that group, use [new word] instead” you have not actually changed their mind about the group they hate one bit. They still think they’re scum who shouldn’t exist! It’s just now they have two words that mean “scum who shouldn’t exist,” [old word] and [new word]. There is no vocabulary change that will make them think about the group they hate any differently. You can shame them into not publicly discriminating (if you have the social buy-in from other people) and sometimes, sometimes if you have a relationship with someone you can over time influence them to be less hateful*, but just changing the word they use does absolutely nothing.

*If you want to work to change peoples’ perspective, the Hidden Brain podcast has an excellent episode on how to handle conflict that touches on “how can you influence people who disagree with you to move their position closer to yours.” Relationships 2.0: How To Keep Conflict From Spiraling

So while I try not to use words that will hurt people (because knowingly hurting people is a jerk move), I also don’t put that much effort into policing mine or other peoples’ language. Because there are so many other things that are more important to spend my time and energy on.

whetstonefires

frankly the harder my disabilities are hitting me the more appreciation i have for the word ‘crippling’

kazaera

honestly, the ableist word stuff makes me so angry nowadays.

Which. Historical context.

I cannot prove this, but I am about 90% sure that the way we talk about ableist words and ableist language has strong roots in the Ableist Word Profile series run by FWD, a blog by feminists with disabilities that ran 2009-2011. I was hanging around there from the start, guest-posted once, and not only was it the first time I had ever seen anyone call out the ableist underpinnings of some common terms like that, I remember it taking off wildly from there through the social justice sphere even at the time. By now it’s gd everywhere, but hey, things do start somewhere.

At this point I would like to quote the bloggers who contributed to the column:

Here’s what this series is about: Examining word origins, the way in which ableism is unconsciously reinforced, the power that language has.
Here’s what this series is not about: Telling people which words they can use to define their own experiences, rejecting reclamatory word usage, telling people which words they can and cannot use.
You don’t necessarily have to agree that a particular profiled word or phrase is ableist; we ask you to think about the way in which the language that we use is influenced, both historically and currently, by ableist thought.

It was never about saying “these words are bad, don’t use them”. Nor was it ever the main focus of the blog. I’d ballpark estimate that it was less than 5% of the overall posts. And my friends, there was so much cool stuff on there, media criticism, awareness raising, intersectionality guest posts, information on web accessibility, so many incisive thought-provoking posts that stuck with you. The site’s still up, you can check them out.

Even back in 2010, people noticed that there was a… weird imbalance… in exactly which of those incisive thought-provoking posts were getting spread more widely and which stayed consigned to a smaller readership. Anna’s post Why Writing about Language Isn’t Enough is still absolutely worth a read over a decade later:

And yet, when trying to have discussions about ableist language, we’re back to the silo of disability. Instead of talking about ableist language as part of the manifestation of the disdain and abuse of people with disabilities, it’s treated as isolated – the problem, instead of a symptom of the problem.
Ableism is not simply a language problem.

and yet, and yet, of that amazing blog, the thing that seems to have made the absolute most impact in the social justice sphere in the long run is… language.

and not even in the nuanced, let’s examine how ableism influences our language historically and today, way it was intended as. In the incredibly reductive “hey, these are Bad words, use these Good words instead” way that the original bloggers actively wanted to prevent. The way that can make spaces hostile to non-native English speakers, people with specific verbal or cognitive disabilities or some people with OCD. The way that is both incredibly punitive and, at the same time, has ceded such important ground in the fight - oh, it’s a simple replacement, say Y instead of X, it’s just that the etymology is ableist you see, it’s that the word is triggering. It’s not like you need to worry that the concept you are trying to express in and of itself might have ableist underpinnings. no need to think about it that deeply.

ableism is just a language problem, don’t you know.

Even the goddamn web accessibility stuff hasn’t gone big to the same point, and that contained some serious low-hanging fruit for improvement. But I’m not sure I’ve ever seen someone be publicly berated for no image descriptions, no subtitles on video, or non-descriptive link text the way people get over language. and when’s the last time I saw someone talk about whether a website was screen-reader accessible.

But really. Every time I see the “X word is ableist, don’t use it” it’s like I’m seeing the horrible bastardized knock-off version of the beautiful work my friends and community put so much of themselves into back then. And yeah. It makes me angry.

nour386
brightwanderer

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

anoriathdunadan
overthinkinglotr

Idk how to phrase this but Gay Lord of the Rings and Straight Lord of the Rings are two completely different trilogies. hilariously different. I hear straight people talk about lord of the rings and it’s like they watched the movies in a bizarre funhouse mirror alternate reality 

overthinkinglotr

This post has led to straight people literally coming to my blog to threaten me with death and genocide. That’s how you know it’s accurate . ❤️❤️❤️ Conservatives are so sad they’re missing out on something as beautiful and powerful as Gay LOTR, which their puny monkey brains are incapable of imagining,….and the more they shriek about how it cant possibly exist because they haven’t experienced it, the more I know that I was RIGHT with this post. So sad hope they get well soon ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Also a special “fuck you” to all the moronic gay people in the replies/tags saying “I’m gay but this post is offensive somehow and I agree with the conservatives”— I hope you know the people you’re joining this dogpile with literally want you dead! <333 being gay doesn’t make you smart, and it’s sad how easily you fall for homophobic fascist propaganda as long as it’s framed as “defending traditional friendship values from the disgusting degenerate gays.” Here’s my hot tip for you— don’t be a ‘pick me’ gay! Don’t act like you’re ‘not like other gays!’ you can’t appease homophobes because they literally want to kill you, and any shallow pretense of “defending friendship” is just the excuse they’re using to kill you! ^_^ <333 Hope that helps! ❤️

It’s also interesting to contrast the LOTR cast talking about the possible queerness of the story (openly gay Ian McKellan talking about how the queerness was something that drew him to the books, Sean Astin and Elijah Wood both recently expressing that queer interpretations of the story are valid/nice/deserve to be respected), ……..with the insane insecurity of people who will sling slurs/Nazi propaganda at you and then threaten you with genocide for even lightheartedly suggesting gay interpretations are possible. XD. These monsters also apparently want to massacre the very people who created the things they supposedly “enjoy.”

Which makes sense, because fascists don’t view art as a way to help you make sense of the world and your experiences, or even as a way to connect with the art’s creator— they view art as a possible weapon to beat people with. Art is meaningless to them unless it can function as violent propaganda, as a weapon they can use in their genocidal crusade against “degenerates.”

The fascists in my notes/inbox weren’t who I was talking about when I mentioned having conversations with people who watched the movies “in a funhouse mirror alternate reality.’ (I was just thinking about ordinary inoffensive clueless straight grandmothers who aren’t hurting anyone, and I wasn’t being judgemental at all- I was just making a lighthearted observation based on funny awkward conversations I’ve had. And I don’t apologize for it, because I was correct. If anything my mistake was that I treated ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ interpretations as if they were on completely equal footing, instead of straight interpretations being dominant and gay interpretations being something marginalized we have to fight for because people are attempting to violently eradicate them.) But yeah these horrible people definitely exist in their own vile awful cruel world.

neil-gaiman

lovesburntofferings asked:

Hello Mr Gaiman - are you aware of the WGARAGE charity auction kicking off on June 30th to help Striking Writer’s in financial need? Most of what’s being auctioned are Writer’s personal memorabilia. If not, please refer to todays (I’m in LA so it’s almost 3:30pm Thursday) WGA daily ‘Writer’s On The Line’ email for details. Forgive me if you’ve already donated to this cause, or if you’re aware and have chosen not to participate. I apologize for putting this question on this platform. I have no other avenue available to ask. Thank you for your kind consideration of my question.

neil-gaiman answered:

I hadn’t heard about it (perhaps because I’m WGAe instead of WGAw) but found it over at


And I’ll see if I have anything donatable from any shows.

scarsofbeauty
starshooterr

Old post has too many notes. I got $313 for electricity taken out of the fund for rent & abortion (after they made the mistake of telling me i didn't owe shit). After this week, the price for the procedure goes up and I don't want to have to keep crowdfunding. Im still doing readings and @scarsofbeauty has commissions happening still. Ash comes home next week and the boys are staying with us, we can't risk almost losing them again.

$5/$313, not gonna meet my goal so will update tomorrow on how much more i will have to pay. Ash isn't coming home anymore, C's bday is Saturday and he and R are inconsolable. I'm sick stressed and tired so please do prayers or some shit cuz idk how i'm gonna hang on 🙃

pp: teariche@gmail.com

ca: $starshooterr

here's the twins, Mustard & Ketchup

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